March 18 (UPI) --Jerry Seinfeld told Jimmy Fallon that he feels there isn't any advice to give when it comes to comedy while appearing on The Tonight Show.

Fallon, on Wednesday, recalled how he approached Seinfeld at a party for advice on stand-up comedy after the late night host had performed onstage after Seinfeld had.

Jerry - Jerry Seinfeld Kramer - Michael Richards George - Jason Alexander. This guy was in game six. They're a perfect match. They like go together. MICKEY: (to Jerry then both Jerry and George) But I got a big problem. The kid I stand in for, he's growing. He was four feet last month, now he's like four-two and a half. Seinfeld and Hernandez previously reunited at Shea Stadium when the comedian threw out the first pitch at a 2005 Subway Series game against the Yankees. It looks like Jerry got over the moving.

Jerry Seinfeld Match Games

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'I was just so nervous I probably didn't even make eye contact with you and I said, 'I just had to follow you at the Improv and you crushed, but I did okay. I ended up doing an impression of you.' And I got up and you go, 'That's good for you. You have to learn how to follow people.' It was kind of great advice going like, 'That's going to be part of this ride,' Fallon said.

'Well, because there is really no advice. That's the kind of weird thing about stand-up comedy is like nobody can help you. It's like being a newborn calf. The cow can't say 'Here's how you walk.' It's just like, 'Figure it out,' you know?' Seinfeld replied.

Download hotspot shield vpn for mac. Seinfeld described how the late Rodney Dangerfield didn't have much advice to give him either early on in his comedy career.

'I go, 'Could you give me some advice about how to be a comedian?' And he went, 'You'll figure it out,' Seinfeld recalled.

Seinfeld also playedLife Coach with Fallon, with the comedian giving advice to Tonight Show viewers on how to back out of a wedding party and compromising with a significant other.

Jerry Seinfeld Match Game Full

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Transcribed by: 13erla http://seinology.com
Posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site
(Permission is given to copy scripts to other sites provided credits as two lines above are included - Thanks)

Episode 80 - The Stand-In
pc: 516, season 5, episode 16
Broadcast date: February 24, 1994
Written by Larry David
Directed by Tom Cherones
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Cast
Regulars:
Jerry Seinfeld ............ Jerry Seinfeld
Jason Alexander ......... George Costanza
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ....... Elaine Benes
Michael Richards ......... Cosmo Kramer
Guest Stars:
Mark Tymchyshyn ......Phil
Karla Tamburrelli ........Daphne
Debbie Lee Carrington ...Tammy
W. Earl Brown ..........Al
Michael Rivkin ..........Fulton
Joe Gieb ................Johnny
Layne Beamer ...........Father
Thomas Dekker .........Son
Jerome Betler ...........Director
rc: Danny Woodburn ....Mickey Abbott
[Setting: Comedy Club]
Opening Monologue: The bus is the single stupidest, fattest, slowest, most despised vehicle on the road. Isn't it? You ever notice when you get behind the bus, people in your car go 'what are you doing? get away, come on.' The back of the bus is like an eclipse isn't it? people are just like 'the sun, where's the sun?' It's like this huge metal ass taking up the whole wind shield of your car. When it pulls out it even sounds like a fat uncle trying to get out of a sofa. (acts like he is trying to get out of a car and makes the sound of a bus/guy starting to get going)
(scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry and George on a Bus]
GEORGE: It's just not good, it's not good.
JERRY: It's not good.
GEORGE: I'm bored. She's boring, I'm boring, we're both boring. We got out to eat, we both read newspapers.
JERRY: Well at breakfast everybody reads.
GEORGE: No. Lunch we read, dinner we read.
JERRY: You read during lunch?
GEORGE: Ya
JERRY: Oh, well.
GEORGE: There's nothing to talk about.
JERRY: Ya, what's there to talk about.
GEORGE: Well at least you and I are talking about how there's nothing to talk about.
JERRY: Why don't you talk to her about how there's nothing to talk about?
GEORGE: She knows there is nothing to talk about.
JERRY: At least you'll be talking.
GEORGE: Oh shut up.
(Al comes onto the bus)
AL: Hey, look who's here.
JERRY: Hey, Al.
GEORGE: Hey, Al. How's it going?
AL: (extremely happy) Deeply in love. We have soo many things to talk about. Sometimes we'll talk all night, till the sun comes up (pauses in his happiness; to George) so how about you?
GEORGE: Oh I'm seeing someone, yes. You know her, Daphne Bower.
AL: Great girl.
GEORGE: We have no need to speak. We communicate with deep soulful looks.
JERRY: Like Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower.
AL: (to Jerry) Oh did you hear about Fulton?
JERRY: Ya.
AL: I went by the hospital to see him a few days ago (looking at Jerry) think he'd really like you to come visit.
JERRY: Me?
AL: Ya, he said he could use a good laugh.
GEORGE: What about me?
AL: (to George) He didn't mention you. (Looks toward the front of the bus) This is my stop. Uh see ya.
GEORGE: Ya
JERRY: Ya, see ya.
(Al leaves)
GEORGE: Deeply in love. If you can't say anything bad about a relationship, you shouldn't say anything at all.
JERRY: (points to George) Ya.
(Scene Ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment]
(Jerry and George enter the apartment)
GEORGE: I didn't even know Fulton was in the hospital.
JERRY: Could use a good laugh. You know what kind of pressure that is? Come on, come with me.
GEORGE: Na no, I'm not good in these situations. I can't hide my pity. I.I make em feel worse.
JERRY: Oh, stop it.
GEORGE: Ya and also I'm afraid that people in that state are finally going to tell me what they really think of me. You know they got nothing to lose what do they care?
JERRY: So you're not gonna come?
GEORGE: No but say hello for me.
(Kramer and Mickey enter)
KRAMER: Hey!
JERRY: Hey! Hey Mick.
MICKEY: Hey Jerry.
KRAMER: What's doing?
JERRY: Nothing, what's doing with you?
KRAMER: Same old, same old.
JERRY: George this is Mickey.
GEORGE: Hi, nice to meet you.
(George and Mickey shake hands)
MICKEY: Pleasure.
JERRY: How's work going you guys?
MICKEY: Lets not even talk about it.
GEORGE: (to Kramer) You got a job?
KRAMER: Ya, Mickey. He hooked me up. We're stand-ins for the actors on 'All My Children.' Mickey, he's a stand-in for an eight year old kid and I stand in for the kids father.
MICKEY: (to Jerry then both Jerry and George) But I got a big problem. The kid I stand in for, he's growing. He was four feet last month, now he's like four-two and a half. He shot up two and a half inches. I can do four-two, four-three is a stretch, any higher than that and I'm gonna be out on my ass doing that paralegal crap.
JERRY: How do you stop a kid from growing?
KRAMER: (to Mickey) I told you, you should offer him some cigarettes.
MICKEY: I offered him cigarettes, (to Jerry and George) but his stupid mother is hanging around. She won't let him have any.
KRAMER: (to Mickey) What about lifts?
MICKEY: (to Kramer) Out of the question.
GEORGE: (to Mickey) Can't you just switch with another Midget?
(Mickey grabs the counter with rage on his face, Jerry does a form of gulp)
MICKEY: (turns and moves up to George, points his finger at him) It's little people, you got that?
KRAMER: Easy Mickey, easy.
GEORGE: Yap.
KRAMER: All right we gotta get back to the show. What are you guys doing?
JERRY: I'm going to the hospital, to visit Fulton.
KRAMER: (on his way to the door) Oh, oh well say hello for me.
(Kramer and Mickey leave Jerry's apartment and enter the hallway)
KRAMER: Now look, we're going to stop at the shoe maker right now. You gotta get some lifts for your